I've worn size 12 jeans almost my entire adult life. At times those jeans have been tight, or loose, or somewhere in between, but they've always been 12s. My favorite jeans, my American Eagle jeans, have been with me for about eight years now. Low rise, button fly, bias cut and bootleg, they are in every way perfect. They're like an old friend. Nothing I own makes me feel as good as those jeans. They've lasted longer than every relationship I've ever had. They're a part of me. Of who I am.
Since beginning my weight loss, I've said goodbye to a little over ten pounds. I'm still in my 12s, but they fit better now than they did before. Looser. I have another sixteen pounds to lose (at least). I find that I am having a hard time contemplating that even after losing that weight that I will be anything other than a size 12. The concept of losing a pants size is foreign to me. Me? I want to ask. Are you sure? Logically I know it could happen. Practically, though, my mind just won't wrap around the idea. It makes me wonder if my weight loss has stalled because on some level, I'm not ready to say goodbye to my 12s. Those jeans are part of my identity. I'm 5'9", and a size 12. The second seems as unchangeable as the first. So what do I do? How do I let that part of me go, allow myself to change what seems a fundamental aspect of my self-image? I'm really struggling with this. I love those jeans - I don't want to say goodbye to them! It isn't as though I can buy smaller pairs of the same jeans (they don't make them in that style anymore). What do I do? Help!