Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Today I Feel Like Listing

I'm in a list-making kind of mood today, so I thought I would post some lists for you. The first list is made up of things I do that I refuse to feel guilty about:
  • I only look at myself naked in one mirror. It's the medicine cabinet mirror, and if I stand right where the two mirrors meet (each half is a sliding door), it magically thins me. When I stand there, I am miraculously thin. I love it.
  • I sing in my car - loudly. I'm secretly convinced that I will be discovered at a stop light someday, thus starting my singing career. Sometimes I even make faces as I sing.
  • Whenever possible, I take the best of whatever I'm offered - the biggest piece of cake, the center brownie, the prettiest pencil.
  • I don't like or watch American Idol, Survivor, or the Oprah Winfrey Show.
  • I can't respect any adult who wears Mickey Mouse, Winnie-the-Pooh, or Tweety clothing.

Or course, the sister to this list are things that I DO feel guilty about:
  • I love my cat more than I love my mother.
  • I don't ever write to my grandmother, and sometimes when I come home to my parents' house, I don't go next door to see her.
  • I have taught books to my students that I haven't read (The Red Badge of Courage was one)
  • I know what I'd write to Postsecret, but I'm afraid if I do I'd be discovered.
  • I was thrilled when I learned I wouldn't be the fattest bridesmaid at my brother's wedding.
Finally, I thought I'd leave you with a list of things I wonder about:
  • Who wrote the first chain letter? Did people send it on?
  • If you pee in a dream, do you pee in real life?
  • Are Jessica Simpson and George Bush representative of all people from Texas? They can't all be that stupid, can they? Is it because Texas is the textbook capital of the world? Can they even read textbooks?
  • Do calories in corn count if the kernels pass through undigested?
  • Why do I love applesauce, apple pie, and apple juice, but hate apples?


Jenny said...

Fun list. Now you've got me thinking...why do I like raisins in things but not plain?

Sue Flaska said...

Just an interesting tidbit for you.....any time I am peeing in my dream, I know I better wake myself up and go to the bathroom. I have a full bladder every time!