Friday, April 18, 2008

Well, one of these days is letter day, damnit!

Dear Amalia,
You suck. No, really. You do. What other reason could you have for ignoring your blog friends all week? For not giving them the letter they so richly deserve on Tuesday, when it was due?! You're worse than your students! Some example you are. I suppose now you're going to tell me that you want to move Letter Day to a day later in the week so that you have more "time"? Well too bad. Tuesday is letter day. Get with the program!
And speaking of programs, what's with the lack of weight loss lately? Did you just decide to quit, NINE POUNDS from your goal? WTF? Suddenly you're okay with your body? Nah - didn't think so. So put down the candy bar and back slowly away. You've still got a long way to go, and putting it off does NOT make it go away. You're on the Oregon Trail, Honey - get your ass back on that wagon!
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you could do so much better than you have been. It's time for some tough love, and I am just the one to give it to you! So post this article, apologize to your readers for leaving them hanging for so long, and go eat a salad or something.
What was that? You're having pizza for lunch? You never learn...


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