Vacation

This week I'm on February vacation - yippee! I'm excited about having the time off. So far I have gone to a basketball tournament, painted a livingroom (including trimwork) and played Burnout 3 on my PS2. I haven't done any homework yet, but that's tonight's job (and tomorrow's, too). I'm hoping that I can have all my grading and assessments done by the end of vacation. I have a lot of grad school homework to do, too. I'm starting to wonder if I will get it all done. I have to convince myself that I will - hopefully create a reality.

In other news, I heard from a friend back home that my ex got married this past summer. I'm not upset (if you met him, you'd see why), but I am a little bothered that he is winning the war of success. He's supposed to be a miserable failure forever, right? I guess not.
I talked to my other ex, Stretch, today. He wants his laser level and hammer back, as well as some old photos. I told him I'd drop them by in exchange for my bike. I also dropped the bombshell that I'm moving in with Bear. He handled it pretty much like I thought he would... he said he'd "expected it sooner or later" and that I obviously do things differently than he does (whatever that means). I honestly don't even care anymore. I can't allow him to make me feel bad/guilty about leaving him, especially when I know I did what was best for me. If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have met Bear, and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now.

And after all, isn't that the only thing that matters?

~Amalia~

Hump Day

Yesterday (Wednesday) was a perfect night. It seems odd to think of a Wednesday in favorable terms, as usually I am just dragging along, waiting for the weekend to get here. Yesterday, however, was fabulous. I got home from school at 3:30, and drove straight to Bear's house. I got there just a few minutes before he did. I'd been reading a romance novel earlier that day, and was in an... amorous... mood (this kind of sucks for me, as I'm out of commission for the next several days). When Bear got home, I basically tackled him. We kissed for several minutes, then had to stop so we could clean out his car. What a mess! His car was a disaster area. It took about a half hour, but we got it all cleaned and even had room for the dog to come with us to the grocery store. The store was about to close, so we had to hurry, but I had to stop him in every aisle and kiss him passionately. I don't think he stopped grinning once. We ordered pizza for dinner, ate it, made out some more, and then got to work spackling the wood paneling in his livingroom (we are painting it this weeked). What a blast! It sounds corny, but I love living the Trading Spaces lifestyle. After that I read more romance novel while he played Mortal Kombat. Again, we took plenty of opportunities to mess around. Bear just kept saying that he'd missed this aspect of my personality, and was super glad to see it's recurrence. I think I've just felt too sick and run down lately to be able to be that way.
When we finally showered and went to bed, Bear was in a fever of want for me (which is naturally what I wanted). We were obviously limited in what we could do, but let's just say he was thrilled and exhausted when we finally went to sleep. :)
This morning all he could say was "wow" and "thank you." It felt good to be fully me, again, to be able to surprise, please and delight my Bear. Hopefully this will last until I''m back IN commision again, and I can enjoy myself as much as Bear enjoys me. ;)

One Quick Vent

Valentine's Day. What's the big deal?!?

Maybe it's because I haven't been single on Feb. 14th since I was 13 years old, or maybe it's because I'm not a big fan of roses. Whatever the reason, I can't stand Valentine's Day! The cheezy Hallmark commercials (they are supposed to make you cry?!? Yeah right!), the ugly stuffed bears that were manufactured by children in third world countries... the endless pressure put on people to "show someone you care." Call me crazy, but it seems to me that telling someone to be romantic kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it? It's kind of like when someone burps or farts, and you say, "excuse you" to remind him or her to say, "excuse me." When he or she finally say it, it doesn't really count, does it?

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about getting chocolate and flowers (Gebera daisies are lovely, and seeing some daffodils this time of year would really perk me up). Nothing says love like a pound of Hershey's Special Dark. My complaint is that I want the gift and the sentiment behind it to be genuine. Valientine's Day is artificial... something put on the calendar by companies looking to guilt men into spending money. Where's the love in that?

This Valentine's Day, I asked Bear not to get me anything. I hope he listens! I refuse to celebrate an artificial holiday. V-Day is Tuesday. He's welcome to get me a small token of his undying love and devotion on Wednesday, though.... :)

~Amalia~

Built like a ... tanka?

I have this poetry class that I'm teaching this semester, which is kind of a joke since I've never written poetry and I don't know a lot about it. I told my students at the beginning of the semester that I would write poems along with them, so that I did everything I asked them to do. We worked on tankas today. Tankas use sensory details to create an image with a mood. So I did three of them. I am posting them below, but I make no guarantees about the quality (in fact, I think they're pretty awful... but in my defense, they ARE just first drafts).

Confession
In the stove's soft light
I'm leaning on the counter
Your serious eyes
watch me as you drop words, love
Into the pond of my heart.

Bear's Hug
I reach the driveway
Bear charges out of the house.
Phone tossed in snowbank,
Forgotten, as I'm scooped up
into my Bear's hug.

Strong arms embracing
Perfumed cloud of love surrounds.
Smells like sawdust, sweat,
and man. Caught up in his kiss
I know this was the best surprise.


The last line there is really weak, I am aware of that. Any suggestions?

In other arenas, my life is going well. I'm getting over my sinus infection, the sun's been out two whole days in a row, and I have the love of a man that makes my heart sing. How could life get any sweeter?

~Amalia~

Gosh, it's been a while since I posted... I ought to get cracking.

As far as my love life goes, Bear and I are getting closer every day. Plans for the future are sprouting up everywhere, like a patch of wild daisies. If things continue as they are going, I should be moved in by the end of March. I know I haven't gone very long since living with the last boy in my life, but everthing about Bear and our relationship is different. With Bear I feel like a true partner, like we are both in this an euqal percent. He listens to me without judging me, encourages me to be a better person without making me feel bad, and loves me totally and completely, without reservation.

Work is stressful right now, as I'm still behind in all aspects of my work - grading, planning, assessing, and more grading. The kids are pretty understanding, but I've got to get cracking.

Grad school is also incredibly stressful, as there is SO much work to be done every day! It seems like I never have any time to myself; grad homework is always looming somewhere.

My aunt is coming over tonight to stay, which is awesome, as she's my favorite aunt. I'm making lasagna and salad and no bake cookies. I'm hoping to butter her up so that Paul and I can visit her farm the first weekend of February vacation. With all this work piling up, I need to get away.

That's all for now - leave me a post, won't you?

~Amalia~