Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Summer's End

It's begun. As summer nears its end and the start of a new school year begins its slow approach, the ceaseless round of questions begin.
"When do you go back to school?"
"Will you be teaching at the same place?"
"Are you ready to go back?"
"You looking forward to a new year?"

The answers are August 25th, sort of, I guess so, and not at all.
*I return to school with two days of inservice on August 25th, a Tuesday. The first freshman day will be Thursday of that week, and upper classmen on the Friday. It is asinine to have students start a school year on a Friday. Why even come?
*The teaching half of my job is secure. I was un-laid off, if that makes sense, so my teaching position will be there. However, no one seems to know about the ed tech half of my job. The last three years I was a Title 1 Literacy Ed Tech Three, teaching two freshman classes and making about $18 an hour for three hours a day. At the end of the school year I was told that due to budget cuts and seniority issues I may have to give that position up to anther woman and take an Ed Tech Two position at the elementary school, in theresource room. Making $11 an hour. This is absolutely unacceptable to me. I LOATHE little kids - especially those that bite and pee on you. I have never taught at the elementary level, let alone at the special ed level. I am absolutely unqualified for that job. It frankly terrifies me. I asked my principal last week if he knew what was going on with that, and he doesn't. I probably won't be told what I'll be doing until I get there on the 25th. Ugh.
*As for being ready to go back... I guess so. I know who most of my students will be, I know what I'll be teaching, I know what specific bullshit I'll be asked to do and deal with... so in that respect I'm ready.
*Am I looking forward to it? Not at all. Usually I am excited to start a new year; I love the possibilities that come with starting fresh. This year I am more aware than ever that it doesn't matter what I teach them, because the way grades are reported suck and hurt kids. That no one cares what life lessons my students learn; they only care about what can be measured. It's disheartening to say the least.

I applied for a new job over the summer, but there weren't many available and the ones that were exist too far away to make working there feasible. When I got the call that I was un-laid off, I told my husband that I would return to my school for one more year. But I also told him that this will be my last year. I am too unhappy where I'm at to stay any longer. I'm tired of being bullshitted, dicked around, and lied to. I'm tired of the sneakiness, the underhandedness, and the drama that goes on. It isn't good for me. He agreed, and we have a tentative plan to stay where we are for one more year and next summer to get new jobs, move away, and start a new and better life. We are going to sell the house and move completely out of Brownville Junction. He will quit his job at the mill and attend college classes for the first time.

I can't wait.


Leslie said...

By next summer the economy may have improved enough to allow you to follow those dreams - I sincerely hope it's so for you.

Are you able to collect unemployment this summer? If yes and you haven't, start now, because you've gone from full to part time (as far as you know) and you may be able to get some extra $$ that way...

Fox In Detox said...

Good girl! I'm happy for you guys. It sounds like you both feel another life growth-spurt is necessary. Staying too long in something that makes you unhappy is very unhealthy...I've been doing it for years. Time to move on.