I'm on my lunch break so I don't have a lot of time, but I wanted to write a quick post because there are some things that need to be said.
First and most important: Bear, I love you. More now than ever before, and no class, job, or other distraction can ever take that away from us. Never have I met such a unique and multi-faceted human being. You entrance, delight and amaze me daily. I am thankful for your love, for all that we have built, for all that we will have in the future.
Second: I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have been so wrapped up in myself lately that I haven't had time to take care of your emotional or physical needs. I apologize for cutting our talks short, for not remembering, for not being there for you, in every sense of that phrase. And even more than that I'm sorry because I can't promise you that it won't happen again. I can promise that I will try my very hardest never to make you feel that way again.
Third: Please understand. This experience has already begun to transform who I am as a teacher, a writer, a human being. The best transformations, the ones that last, are always the most painful. And I don't just mean for me. Please allow me to be the person I am becoming, one who is finally, after so many years, finding the words.
Finally, I am finding the words.