Thursday, June 15, 2006

End of an Era

I am officially unemployed. I'm not happy.
While most teachers are enjoying the start of their summer vacations, I am hunched over a computer, looking at classfieds, trying to find a job for next year. I have had one interview (Foxcroft Academy), but no response to three other applications I have sent out. I'm trying hard not to be discouraged, but it's tough!
What am I doing looking for a job, you ask? There's not any easy way to say it, I guess - they weren't going to renew my contract, so I had to resign. Much better to leave than be kicked out is sort of the philosophy. Am I upset? Sorta yes and sorta no. I wasn't happy where I was teaching, but it was at least a job. I loved the kids and will miss them next year. I won't miss the administration or many of my co workers, though. They were not good to work with. I hope wherever I end up, it's a happier place for me. I'm tired of looking for a home, and I'm tired of feeling the shame that comes with being told you're not good enough, that they don't want you.

My life with Bear is going perfectly, at least. My parents love him which is a huge step. I haven't told them that we're engaged yet, but I will by my birthday. I told my mom that I didn't think it would be too far away (I think she kind of knows that anyway). His family knows and most of our friends know. The wedding plans are coming together, too. I hope to take a trip to Portland this fall and look at dresses. I have an idea what I want already. I'm going to try to convince my parents to let us have the ceremony at their house, down to the pond. It will be a simple, casual affair with a potluck reception. I'm so excited! I didn't know that it was possible to be this happy, even when the rest of my life is shit. Bear is taking me camping this weekend for my birthday. We are having a picnic lunch at the top of Cadillac Mountain and then we are going to cruise around Acadia National Park and Bar Harbor for the rest of the day. I can't WAIT!


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