I've started moving in to Bear's den. I hate moving - the stress of your things beng spread out over two locations, of finding the perfect home for your things, etc. all really get me down. However, I know this is what I want. I know it all the way to my marrow. No one has ever accepted me and loved me just for me like Bear does. I've come to the realization that I live much of my life seeking others' approval. My parents, because I'm not the favorite child, my students, because I'm not their favorite teacher, even strangers, because I want them to think well of me (even when I know I will NEVER see them again). For the first time ever, me just being me is enough. I don't have to feel bad that I am susceptible to tv advertising, that I have to put honey mustard on everything I eat, that I pick my nose in the bathroom. To Bear, I am perfect.
And that feels really good.
Speaking of Bear, he is doing well. He's stressed out about the move, too, but mostly because it is exhausting work and it never seems to end. This weekend we are taking a couch, a chair, and a tv stand from upstairs to the dump, and moving in the last bits of my furniture. We got my box spring up the stairs, but had to cut out the bannister, as well as sections of the wall and three stairs. It was, to put it mildly, a clusterfuck. But it's up there, and we have put the bed to good use since getting it set up. ;)
In other news, I should be hearing soon about Maine Writing Project, and if I am going to get it. If I do, I am on track to get my master's degree next summer!! How exciting is that?? Wish me luck! :D