Have you ever had the feeling that you were going to explode, you love someone so much? That you are going to burst at the seems, that you swallowed the sun, so that your face actually hurts because you're smiling so much?
I never had, until yesterday.
We weren't even doing anything special. Bear and I had made dinner (steak - it was amazing), and had just settled down to watch a movie. He was sitting with his legs on the couch, and I was reclining between them on my stomach, my head on his chest. While we watched "I am Sam," Bear gently pulled my elastic out of my hair and stroked my hair while massaging my scalp. I don't even think he was conscious of what he was doing. I think it just came natural to him. I laid there and slowly this feeling crept up on me, becoming larger and larger each second. a smile broke out on my face and I just felt like shouting, "I LOVE YOU!"
So I did.
He just smiled and looked at me, and asked, "Now, what brought that on?" I couldn't find an appropriate response. I just shrugged, grinned some more, and kissed him. What else was I supposed to do? It seemed like the cosmos lined up in that moment to cast a beam of love directly into my brain. I don't know if I've ever experienced emotion as deep and all-encompasing like that before. It's hard to explain. I have always known that I love him, but this seemed stronger, bigger, like a tsunami in a kiddie pool.
I am SO in love with him, it's crazy.