Week in Review

This week is a week that all teachers and students have off from school. I love this week. It's a great one for sleeping in, getting home projects done, and cursing the skies for delivering yet more snow.
I'm really tired of snow.
Normally I love each of the seasons - here in Maine we get a full dose of all four with an extra mud season thrown in between winter and spring. But this year spring can't come fast enough. There were two feet of snow on the ground this morning, and it's been snowing all day. I thought the groundhog *didn't* see his shadow this year?
Tomorrow is the annual Gathering of Gardiner Girls - myself and my three best friends from high school will be meeting at a pancake house for breakfast and laughter. One friend has just had a baby, and another just informed us she's expecting her second. I love these girls and don't see them nearly often enough. After that I'll be heading south to Freeport for a knitting event that's hosted each year in February. I've never been but I'm really looking forward to it. I hope to be a vendor at it next year. It is probably strange to a non-knitter how many knitting events there are and how well-attended they are. For me, it's a chance to be among my people. People who get me and who love the very same things I love. That to me makes this time of year a little bit easier to bear.

Pththththththb.

Yes, I know it's been more than a month since I posted last. Thanks for pointing that out. I would love to catch you all up on my scintillating life ... but honestly? There's absolutely nothing exciting to say. I've become boring.

Except that my husband went to town yesterday to get groceries and returned with a boquet of Gerbera daisies and two novels for me.

Because he knows I love daisies and I'm a sucker for books.

And what's more? One book's a dragon book that's been on my Amazon wish list for YEARS and the other is the sequal to a knitting fiction book I enjoyed two years ago.

The man knows what makes my heart happy.



More next week, I promise.

Grrr.

So my friend Alice over at Wandering Wonderland says I'm inspirational. That my efforts to lose weight and get healthy inspire her. Last time I lost 40 pounds, I agreed with her. I could see how I was an inspiration (and I was happy to help - she did AWESOME!). I had worked hard, and the changes were obvious. I looked *good*!

This time? Not so much.

That's not to say I'm not busting my ass. I am! I'm riding my Sinister Stationary Bike of Doom for at least 500 calories a day (last night was 550!). I'm drinking between 5 and 8 glasses of water a day, not counting what I have in my coffee and tea. I'm participating in Sparkpeople's 28 Day Bootcamp Challenge, which means I do one ten-minute strength training workout every day. I'm stretching every time I exercise for decreased pain and increased flexibility. I'm tracking everything I eat and drink, even when I go out to eat (last time I cut to 1,275 calories, this time I'm trying to stay under 1,400). I've been doing everything RIGHT for three weeks now ...

... and I've lost 2 pounds. TWO.

That's ridiculous. I don't care if I am adding muscle, I don't care if some of that weight is water, I don't care if my body is in shock. I WANT THIS FUCKING WEIGHT GONE. I'm so so so so frustrated. My darling husband is exercising/dieting too, and in the first week he lost 7.6 pounds!! Yes, I know he has more to lose, yes I know it's easier for men - it's Just. Not. Fair.

Out of desperation this morning I took my measurements. I'm hoping (at this point somewhat dispiritedly) that if I'm not losing pounds, I *am* losing inches. I've posted them below for the entire world to see to keep me motivated to keep working. Because the scale? Not helping at all.

Calves: 16"
Thighs: 25" (this is what my WAIST should be, not one of my THIGHS)
Hips: 42"
Waist: 36"
Arms: 13"

How are you doing" Fox? Alice?

News and non-news.

News: Bear has blogged about his most recent doctor's visit (it's not good, and not for the faint of heart) here. I think that Bear has come to the conclusion that he needs to wait a while to have the surgery. It's not an "if", but a "when", really, but we aren't in a financial place for him to be out of work for at least six months. He has another appointment on March 1st (I will be going to this one with a laundry list of questions), and we may schedule the surgery then. Anything could happen between now and then, of course. He could fall again, it could get worse, we could win the lottery...

In non-news, I've hit the dieting wagon hard (minus one day we went to Olive Garden with friends, but we're not talking about that), going back to tracking my calories and riding the Sinister Stationary Bike of Doom (SSBOD). It sucks. I'm mostly pissed at myself for getting to this point again - how did I let this happen? How did I regain FORTY pounds of fat after working SO HARD to get rid of it? I am kicking myself for being so weak. My punishment? Getting back on the bike (500 calories a day, at least four days a week) and cutting back to eating under 1,300 calories a day. Experience has shown me that it's the only thing that works. Ugh. I am using a new calorie tracker, though that I like. I was using www.mycaloriecounter.com but I've made the switch to www.sparkpeople.com and although still hate tracking calories, this interface is better. I also signed up to do a 28 day bootcamp-style cardio and weight training program to keep things from getting stale.

I made my loving husband go into the kitchen and stay there until I'd completed the first ten-minute cardio video. He does *not* need to see that.

So that's what I've got going on in my world - how about you?

Welcome Back

About three years ago, I decided I needed to lose some weight. I'd been married a few months and when I looked at the wedding pictures, I realized that I was much rounder than I liked. I joined a calorie counting web site, hopped on my Sinister Stationary Bike of Doom, and lost almost 40 pounds. I looked good, I felt great, and thought that the hard work was worth it - despite it turning me into a calorie counting nightmare to be around. I can remember nights where it'd be 8pm and I'd be starving, but I couldn't eat anything because I only had 25 calories left to eat that day, and even a banana had 90. I cried a lot those 5 or so months. I rode that SSBOD every single day for four and a half months, at least three of those months for sessions that burned 500 calories each. I avoided chocolate, pepsi, and sugar - my three favorite foods in the world.

But I looked good. Real good.

The last three years I've been giving myself a lot of leeway to eat/do what I liked, since I'd worked so hard to lose all that weight - all the while ignoring that the scale had started to creep back up. Yesterday I couldn't ignore it any more - I weigh again what I did on my wedding day.

Fuck.

So as of yesterday I'm back on the calorie counting website, and I'm back on the SSBOD. I'm going to try to be more realistic about it this time so I don't burn out so quickly. I'm hoping this spring brings us a treadmill so I can run again (running on the road is super tough with my knee issues now). I'd like to make sure I stretch every day, since it makes such a difference in my pain levels when I work out. I'd also like to take the dog for more walks, since Jax keeps me walking at a pretty fast pace. I hope you'll be patient with me as I begin this journey *again*, because I know I'll lose patience with myself.

Gack.

You know that cartoon, Opus? The one with the penguin who's butt falls off? He has a friend, a spastic cat. I forget his name (if I can find a pic via Google images, I'll post one here), but he is totally where I'm at mentally and emotionally right now.

Almost two weeks ago, I got a phone call from my husband. He was at work, and I knew immediately something was wrong. "I just slipped and fell on the ice at work and messed up my bad knee." I could tell by his voice he was in terrible pain. A co-worker brought the tuck around to him, Bear somehow managed to get in and get home. I was home and helped him out of the truck and into the house. Once I got his workboots, wet jeans and sweatshirt off him (he'd laid in the snow on his back for several minutes after he fell), we looked at his knee. It looked like someone had hit him with a bat. The thing was softball sized, so swollen his kneecap had disappeared. Already some bruising had started. I can only imagine how badly that hurt. I got him situated in his chair with an ice pack, water, vicodin and a whoopie pie and dealt with the idea that he may have re-injured his surgically repaired knee.

Now that it's been a couple of weeks, we know a bit more. Bear met with his surgeon who ordered an x-ray. There were bone fragments showing in the x-ray that he'd never seen before, but that didn't look "new," whatever that means. He immediately ordered an MRI, and got Bear's knee re-imaged within an hour. Far cry from the first time when it took MONTHS to get the d#mn scan. I'm hoping that we'll hear the results of that scan today. I don't know if this means more surgery, more physical therapy, or what. Bear is out of work until a course of action has been determined.

The fall happened at work, which means that this is a workman's comp issue. Bear and I are unfamiliar with the workman's comp issue, as are the people in his mill's office. We've been told they will "take care of it," and "that shouldn't be a problem," and "not to worry," but haven't been told how Bear is going to get paid - whether he gets a paycheck, how much that is, whether there's a procedure we need to follow ... anything. I'm *beyond* frustrated that we are less than two weeks away from Christmas and have no idea how we'll get all our bills paid and the remainder of our gifts purchased. I'm pissed that Bear has to go through the pain and isolation he went through this spring AGAIN, with no idea how long it will be before he can resume daily life. I hate that I can't fix anything for him, and that I can't help make his days better. He hates being home, he hates being injured, he hates not working. I can't fix that. I'm not someone who has a whole lot of nursemaid in her (because really, life is supposed to be all about me), and I know that I am taking my frustrations out on him. I feel terrible about it, but I can't seem to change my attitude or behavior. Stress has caused my eyelid to resume its incessant twitching, which is how my body shows that I'm stressed. Two weeks of twitchtwitchtwitch. Sigh.

I'm trying so hard each day to get through, to keep the mantra "this too, shall pass" on repeat in my brain. To see the positive side of this situation - at least Bear is getting help this time, and much faster than last time. But oh, how I wish this hadn't happened right now, when the holidays are putting more strain on us than usual. If you're a praying person or someone who's in good with your God, will you send some healing thought toward my husband? He sure could use a little divine intervention right now.

New to Me, Anyway

Last Friday I was driving home, minding my own business, when my car started acting funny. When I pressed on the gas pedal, I got no response. The idle sunk really low, and just as I pulled off the road, it stalled.

Uh oh. This is not good.

I managed to get the car re-started and running long enough to get it into a parking spot at the local grocery store. I called my husband and he got in touch with our wonderful mechanic. Mikey (the mechanic) drove his tow truck the 35 miles to get the car. He started the car, got it on the tow truck, got out and announced, "Well - you pooched it." Which is Mikey speak for I killed it. Apparently I dropped a valve in the motor, which is unfixable.

Le Sigh.

So my husband and I discussed it and realized that we needed a new vehicle. Something that would be a solid commuter car for me and comfortable to ride in for both of us. We wanted something the dog would fit in comfortably, too. Oh yeah - and we had to be able to afford it.

We spent the entire day Wednesday looking at used cars. We went to six or eight dealerships, test dove four or five cars, and ended up with this:
A 2002 Buick Century Custom. It's awfully pretty! It rides so comfortably. I love it. I admit we were both hoping for something a little more "age appropriate" - another Pontiac would have been awesome, but this was simply the best fit and the best deal. The guy who sold it to us has been selling cars for 43 years, and was super nice. He puts brand new tires on every single one of the cars he sells, because he believes in doing right by people. Awww! I'm so pleased with this car! Of course, Bear's been driving it all over so I haven't had much of a chance yet, but I will. Here are a few more pics:

Grammie's Shawl

Last year for Christmas I wanted to knit my Grammie a shawl. At 95, she needs a shawl's warmth, and as she basically raised me, she totally deserves it. But I'm a slow knitter, and I tend to overcommit myself during the holidays. So the shawl didn't get finished, and after the New Year it sat largely forgotten in my pile of unfinished knits.

But now that the holidays are approaching, I figured the time had come to get the shawl done. I dug it out, realized I only had about 20 rows to go and got going. I tried to knit one row a day - at 576 stitches, it took about half and hour, but it was at least progress.

Last week I finished the shawl.

Below are the pictures. The colors are off (shawls have to be pinned out when wet to keep their intended shape when dry, so this is the wet color. The actual shawl is a cinnamony-red called "Russet Heather"), but you can hopefully see what it's supposed to look like. The shawl is called Icarus and is supposed to look like a frame with feathers at the bottom.

What do you think?

The downside of time

It's been two weeks now since I've left Rite Aid. I love it. Like really LOVE it. It's so nice to know that once I get home from work, I don't have to leave again if I don't want to. I have time to get groceries, walk the dog, do laundry; I don't have to squeeze everything into the 33 minutes I had between jobs. I really look forward to having time to knit, spin, and design again - as well as update here more regularly, too.

I am finding, however, that having all this time has its drawbacks. I trained myself over the last three years to use any and all time off effectively, since those were my only opportunities to get chores and errands done. Now that I have every evening free I find myself cramming each evening full with as many things as I possibly can. I can't just sit still. I have to be "doing" something, or I feel as though I'm wasting my time. If nothing immediately presents itself as needing doing, I wander from room to room, picking things up and putting them back. I've done more loads of dishes in the past two weeks than I have in the past three months. Because I can, so I feel like I should. I've begun making a long to-do list every single day, and getting everything on it crossed off. Because I can't rest until I've "worked."

Relaxing? Totally not happening.

My fervent hope is that this calms down as my body re-learns how to have just one job. That I can begin to enjoy quiet relaxation and rest again. Because I'm getting really sick of dishes.

Because Good Matters

Many of you may read my friend Alice's blog (I won't link it here because I'm talking about her work, but if you look for an Alice-related blog in my sidebar, you'll see her). If you read her blog, you know she's epically awesome and a genuinely good person. She has graciously allowed me to use her employer as my first "sponsored charity" with my Intention Yarns company. Please go to my Intention Yarns blog and read this post - Alice wrote a letter for me to share with knitters. If you knit or know someone who does, please consider helping (or encouraging someone else to). As Alice explains, these are some really deserving kids.

Making my Move

This is the last week I'll be working at Rite Aid. I have to work Wednesday night and Saturday day and I'm done. It's been a long five weeks since giving my noticed, but I'm psyched to be nearly done. I can't wait to have more time available to me, both physical time to do things and mental time that I was thinking about work that I can spend on other thoughts. I'm really trying to plan a routine for this time so that I don't just waste it on the internet (which is how I spend too much of my free time). Here's a list of plans so far:

WEEK DAYS

• Every day when I get home from school, Jax and I will take a 30 minute walk. No taking off my sneakers or coat - just grab the dog, the leash, and go. We both need this time. Possible caveat - if I have groceries to bring in, they must be dealt with first.
  
• As soon as we're back, I will spend the next 30 minutes writing (no social networks allowed!). I have three blogs now to maintain (one personal, two knit business related), and they will only be good with regular maintenance. I plan on blogging here on Monday, Intention Yarns on Tuesday and Friday, and Highland Handmades on Thursday. Wednesday is reserved for grocery shopping or blog research.
  
• After writing is chore time until Bear gets home. That's only about 15 minutes, but 15 solid minutes a day should make a noticeable difference in my home. I'm a big fan of put it off, put it off, put it off ... but now I have no excuse.
  
• After Bear gets home and I've said hello, I can spend some time catching up on the social networks, email, and any cool links that have been sent my way. I can do that until it's time for dinner (or, if it's my night, until it's time to cook dinner).
  
• After dinner - no idea yet. I know some nights will be spent on HH stuff, others on IY stuff, and others will be spent knitting. I'm in the middle of holiday knitting, and it really needs some attention paid.

WEEK ENDS

• Saturday is spent with coffee and get-my-own breakfast, consumed while social networking and the like. It's a great way to catch up. This is when I'll write my to-do list for the weekend. Chores always factor high here - laundry, dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, etc. but also it's a great way to spend a lock of time on HH or IY stuff.
  
• Sunday is all about ME. I plan on doing my nails on Sunday after breakfast and other pampering things. I'll knit, because I enjoy it, or spin. I'll do things that I love because I deserve some time for myself. The *PLAN* is to make Sundays internet-free days. I don't know if I can do it, but that's the plan. We'll see how that goes. Sunday is Pancakes Day at my house, too, so Bear and I will have pancakes at some point that day for sure.

What do you do with your free time?

Resolved

Every year, when people ask me what my new year's resolution is, I respond the same way: to recognize good advice when I hear it. In my last blog post I was whining about Rite Aid and how much I want to be done and how awful it's going to be to work through Christmas. The ever wise Fox said, "Don't worry about working until Christmas... if you hate it that much, don't do it for another second. It's not worth it...it never is."

I'm listening to that advice.

My last day of work at Rite Aid is October 30th. I have given my notice and am just working out these last few weeks. I feel fan-freaking-tastic about this choice. Bear and I will have several important bills paid off by the end of the month so it's more financially feasible than I thought it was going to be and hopefully IY (the yarn company) will fill in any holes that appear. I'm looking forward to the free time, and I'm stoked that I may be able to actually ENJOY the holiday season this year. I do feel a little guilty that I won't be able to help out at Rite Aid during the busiest time of year, but the guilt isn't enough to keep me there. When I got the job it was only supposed to be for a year. I've been there more than three years now. It's time.

I hope to be able to begin new routines with my afternoons - blogging more regularly is at the top of my routine wish list. I miss blogging and conversing with you all. I'll be blogging in other places - Highland Handmades (my fiber blog), The Fiberista Files (my video podcast about my fiber business) and Reveal (the Intention Yarns blog) - but I'll try not to repeat myself.

I'm off to blog in those places right now, actually, so I'd better end this post for now.

Recovering and other Randomness

• I'm mostly better from surgery. I get my stitches out tomorrow and then all that's left is a follow up in early October. I am definitely in less pain than I was before and right after surgery. Maybe this worked. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.
• I am officially ready to be done working for Rite Aid. I can't frigging WAIT to give my notice. I'm so sick of working so much, and of dealing with the gross townspeople. I want to be done. I need to be done. I told my manager I'd make it through Christmas, but I don't want to.
• The yarn company I'm taking over for a friend should launch this week. If you'd like to go visit the website, it's: www.intentionyarns.com. The shop link is disabled right now, but the rest of it is up. Tell me what you think, won't you?
• I'm looking forward to spending some time at the Common Ground Fair this weekend. It's an organic/local themed fair that has fiber - so much fiber - as well as other organic goodies. My cousins own an organic farm and will be there, so it will be a nice to visit with them as well.

That's all I've got for now. Sorry for such a short post!

Post Surgery

So this past week or so has been hellishly busy. On Thursday I had a potassium test that I needed prior to my surgery. If a doctor tells you you need one of these, fight him or her. It fucking sucked. It involved a catheter and four different injections of solution. None of them was a pain killer, so for the next several hours I felt like I was trying to pee razorblades. Not fun.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday I was at a fiber event as a vendor. It was a beautiful weekend and I had a fantastic time. Sales weren't all that great (about half what my last show was) but the other vendors that were near my booth were so incredibly awesome that it truly made the weekend. I can't wait to see them again, actually.

Monday was my laparoscopy. It was scheduled for noon and I had to be there at a quarter to eleven. I had had nothing to eat since eight o'clock the night before and I was huuuuungry. I had a caffeine withdrawal headache, too. They got my IV in and had me change into one of those very fashionable gowns with a non-matching robe and I waited. And waited. It was after 2:30 by the time they wheeled me into the OR. They woke me up around 4pm, and I spent the next two hours in and out of sleep. I had a really hard time waking up from the damn anesthesia. Once I finally woke up, peed, ate some toast and got dressed, they let me go home. That was at about seven o'clock. My incisions didn't and don't really hurt, but the gas they pumped into my body cavity had caused me so much pain. I can't lay on my left side, because it feels like my right lung is going to explode. My shoulders, back, collarbones and shoulder blades all ache something fierce. I am lucky that my drugs seem to be helping that pain. I'm supposed to go back to work tomorrow - we'll see how that goes.

They did find some endometriosis and removed what they found. I'm hoping that this means I won't be in the god awful pain I was in before. We'll see, I guess. I meet with the doc in two weeks and I hope I can see the pics of what they did and have him explain it to me now that I'm coherent.
Thanks to everyone who sent me well wishes. I am resting and healing and will hopefully soon be back to my old self.

The View from Sunday

Last spring I blogged quite a bit about how much my teaching job sucked. My position was cut, no one bothered to say it to my face, I was tired and burned out. I was glad (in a way) that I was being forced to leave, because I knew I didn't want to be there any more. I looked forward to a fall that didn't mean back-to-school shopping and stress about the kind of kids I'd be getting.

But. (and there's always a but, isn't there?)

The Secret Project I've been alluding to (which I can come clean about now, and will soon - with pics!) has been delayed; it'll be a few months still before I make any real income off it, and Rite Aid pays so crappy that if I didn't go back to school, I'd still need a second job, one that paid quite well in order for Bear and I to pay down our debts. Ugh. I applied at the local high school for an English position and the local bank for a teller position. I didn't get called for either one.

What it boiled down to was that I was going to have to go back to school. Working as a Title 1 Ed Tech III I make about $17.50 an hour, which was double what I'd make at a non-teaching job here in town, even with 450 miles a week driving factored in. It means working all day in the elementary school with kids who need help but don't qualify for special ed.

As much as I hate it, Bear and I did our finances and it's the only viable option for us right now.

It sucks. Sucks sucks sucks.

But what choice do I have?

I'm hoping that this will only be temporary; that by the new year I'll be able to drop down to just working at Rite Aid and the new Secret thing. It's a big, big, hope. Bear and I will have to show restraint and focus, something we're not so good at when it comes to paying down our debt. We'll see what happens, I guess.

If you need me, I'll be at school. I go back on Tuesday.

More Jax!

I took Jackson for a walk today. He and I both needed to get out of the house for a bit. Now that Bear is back to work, the poor doggie has been super lonely. So I got his lead on him and off we went. We headed down to the ball field which is on the other side of the bridge. He did so well! He's learning that he needs to sit and wait for my signal before crossing the road (I barely have to tug on the leash and his butt hits the ground) and that just because people are about doesn't mean they are there to play with him (I'm sure the construction workers were pleased he learned that lesson). He was super at the field, running and playing and letting me hook him back up to the leash when it was time for him to go. Next time I'll think ahead and bring the Frisbee for him to chase. On the way back his sniffing uncovered a blackberry bush with ripe blackberries. I picked one and gave it to him. He loved it! He tried to figure out how to get them off the bush himself, but couldn't. He kept looking from me to the bush, like, "Mom! Get me more! More of those! Those are good! Mom! Please?!" I did, because I don't think wild native fruits go against our no-people-food rule. And because he was cute. We made it back home and he's now sprawled out on the floor next to my chair, happy, hot, and tired.

Just the way he should be.

It's Tuesday

That's all I have for a title, sorry. There isn't much excitement going on around here lately. Just work. I have today off and Bear has returned to work, so I'm taking advantage of the alone time to blog. I thought I'd also include some pics of Jax, since Alice has asked nicely and the dog himself is adorable. I have learned, however, that he HATES having his picture taken. He won't look at the camera or do cute things when it's around. Silly doggie. Below are all the versions of Jackson I've managed to capture on film:

Lap Dog

No really, LAP DOG: Crazy Dog:
In My Dance Space Dog:
And finally, Hot Dog:

More Doctors (TMI warning)

I had to go to the doctor's last week. I've been having terrible pain/cramps in my girlie bits (again or still, I'm not really sure which it is). I was a bit worried that something was wrong with my IUD and that was what was causing the pain. It wasn't just cramps, but a solid wall of pain for nearly two weeks each month with spikes that can make me sweat and cry they are so bad. So I went to the doc's.

She thinks I have endometriosis. In fact, she thinks that not only is my uterine lining on the OUTSIDE of my uterus, but that it has ADHERED to my large intestine. As in stuck on. As in that's not supposed to be there and of course I'm in pain. Great. So what is to be done? I have to get scoped, and if that's the case the specialist can get rid of the problem right there in the office. I'm just waiting to hear back with the date of the appointment.

On the one hand, I'm pleased that this tentative diagnosis seems like it can be easily resolved. On the other hand? I'm so so so so sick of having girlie bits. I just want them to take the damn thing out so I don't have to worry about it any more. It can't hurt if it's not there, right? I would very much like to not be dealing with this issue any more. Unfortunately, insurance companies think they know more about me than I do and can dictate what I do with my body. Freedom of choice my ass. I will, of course, tell you how it goes because I can't not overshare in a public forum. I do wonder if anyone else had this procedure done? They haven't told me much about it. I'm about to head to WebMd to learn more. Good grief.

On The Future

Well, summer is now half over. With just over a month left before school begins, I'm still certain that I need a break from teaching. I do miss my students (following their hi jinks on Facebook has been entertaining, to say the least), but I have absolutely zero urge to go back to school. Any school. There is an English position open at the local high school - a few people have encouraged me to apply, but really, I don't feel the need. I know that there are people that want me to apply, though, and that feels pretty good. If my other fiber-related project doesn't pan out soon I may regret not applying for financial reasons (teacher pay is significantly higher than ed tech or substitute pay), but I want to give my all to the fiber-related project first before I decide whether or not I can make a living at it. I can't wait to tell you all about it! Another two weeks should see me through the initial press release/website launch, and I can tell you (and show you) all about it then. I'm trying to be patient.

I just launched my second ever knitted design, a pair of socks called "La Vie de Bois" (that's life in the woods). It's an easy and attractive knitting pattern that I hope will make me some money. Not a lot, because it's for sale for a whopping $3, but a little. Designing is a lot like getting tattoos; once you do one you want more and more. I'm trying to hold off designing anything else until I free up a little time and project space (I have a lot of knitting projects going on right now).

The sock:
Physical therapy continues to go well. I've been running on the treadmill to help strengthen my knee. I had no idea how much easier running on the treadmill would be. I was running three minutes at a time on the road, taking a minute to walk in between. I ran fifteen minutes on the treadmill last Friday without a break. It's amazing. I wish I had the cash to buy a treadmill for the house, because knowing how easy it is makes me want to run all the more.

The heat and humidity in Maine continue to annoy and make it tough to get anything accomplished. Saturday night I looked down at my feet only to realize that my ankles have apparently SWOLLEN because of the climate. I have CANKLES! For the first time ever in my life, I have swollen ankles. I'm not old, diabetic, or pregnant. Swollen ankles are unacceptable. They've been like this since Saturday. I've tried everything to get it to go down but nothing I do works for very long. I see my doctor tomorrow (I'm still having issues with my stupid IUD) and I'll ask her about it then. I'm hoping that it's a sign of some strange and rare illness, and NOT just a sign of me getting older. I'm *barely* 29! MUCH too young to be dealing with cankles.

I'm just sayin'.


What do you think of the new blog theme?

Hi, sorry.

I really didn't mean to be gone for a whole month. I'm sorry! I know that you all know what's been going on in my life/work, and that you are really nice so you don't complain, but still. I should have written before now.

It's hard, though, when you've got a system, but things change and you can't utilize that system anymore. I used to get to school, check my emails, blog, and get going on my day. Now that I'm not going to school, I'm having a hard time fitting things in. I like to blog when I'm alone in the morning, organizing my thoughts for the day. Bear's been home since February with his knee surgery and recovery, so I rarely get the house to myself. Currently he and his friend Snake are watching a movie, so they are at least distracted. I thought I'd blog while I could, and update you on what's been going on. Sorry if this gets fragmented - it's how I think on the fly.

• Bear is still not back to work. His knee surgery was much more intensive than either of us realized, and physical therapy hasn't been able to strengthen his leg to the point he can return to work. It doesn't help that PT dropped him from their service, saying that they "can't do anything more for him" and so now he has to do it all on his own. I'm not pleased about this, but there's not much I can do about it.
• I'm going to PT myself for MY left knee, now, too. I have tendinitis in the tendon below my knee cap that has been there (they think) for almost twenty years and because I've never had it treated, it's not healing any more. I have a new brace and treatments that are helping ... kind of. I just got cleared to begin running again, but it hurts. All. The. Time.
  
• I'm working full time-ish at Rite Aid right now while trying to get my fiber business off the ground. Business has been picking up lately and I've been having a FABULOUS time sending out packages and participating in the 2010 Maine Fiber Frolic as a vendor. I'm signed up to do two more shows in the fall. This is what makes me happy more than anything; I hope that I'll be able to devote more time to it in the future.
  
• Jackson is growing like crazy and is getting neutered on Tuesday, which the couch cushions will thank me for. They are being horribly abused, poor things.
  
• Summer in Maine is here, and it's a great one this year. Sunny, warm ... perfect.
• Bear and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary this week. I love him more and more each day. He really is a remarkable man, and one I'm so lucky to call mine.
  
• I had my 29th birthday last month. It's the last one I'm having, I've decided.