Crunch Time

And I mean that in more than one way.

Bear and I did our budget last night, and the results are less than pleasant. I had to take a sizeable pay cut for this job, and where before things were tight, they are now excrutiating. There will be no more eating out, no more movies or video games. We simply can't afford it. In six or eight months things will ease because we are getting a home loan to pay off the last of our debt, but eight months of my cooking is a very long time. I may have to look at taking a second job, and Bear is trying to work lots of overtime to help boost our financial situation. We're gonna make it, but it isn't going to be fun.
After a week of trying, I am back at 182.6 pounds. I ate out a LOT last weekend and skyrocketed back up to 185 at one point! I was so disappointed with myself. Granted, I was in a car the whole day and didn't have many options, but that isn't really an excuse. Yesterday was a good food day, and today has been okay, too. I'm good until I get home from work and then I pig out. How can I stop this?
I am going to do my yoga DVD tonight, for the first time in a week - yeay! I actually miss it. I bought a yoga mat, too, so now I don't have to lay on the floor that is covered in cat hair and smells like dog pee. I think you'll agree that the mat is an improvement. Bear is working late tonight (the aforementioned overtime), so I might try to mow some of the lawn as well. The sky looks kind of gray, but hopefully the rain will hold off. I have laundry to hang out still, anyway.

Speaking of Bear, I think it's time that he gets another list of reasons why I love him. He really is the best man in the world. So this is for you, baby! I hope you enjoy.

I love you for your dimple
I love when you institute the new rule
I love the way you convince me
I love how you always hold my hand
I love when you help me jump down from things
I love your crazy hair
I love how happy your Patriots blanket makes you
I love when you back me up
I love you for giving me Shota
I love your text messages
I love the way you call my mom "Mom"
I love you for helping me when I'm sick
I love when you take me for a ride
I love you for thinking about going back to school
I love how you tolerating my picking
I love you for your laugh
I love how safe you make me feel
I love how you promise me forever.

I love you, Bear!

~Amalia~

And how was your first day?

My first day back to school was a long one. I am new to this district, so while everyone was squealing, "oh my God, how ARE you?" I was sitting there, the odd teacher out. People seem to be nice and are very welcoming, but it's always tough to be the new kid, you know?
On the plus side, this job is going to have some nice perks. For one, we get the use of a laptop that is brand spankin' new - we can take it home, keep it over the summer, everything. So basically I just got a new laptop. Yeay! My old one is now basically just a holder for all of my mp3's. When we get a new desktop computer this spring, I will transfer all of my files over to it and wipe my old comp. Maybe I'll sell it - it's a good machine, I just don't need it.
Also, my room is HUGE. I'm going to have room for a couch and comfy chairs at some point. I can't wait! My classes will be pretty small, so there will be tons of room to move around. I have most of tomorrow to get my classroom in order. I can hardly wait.
Bear took the day of today, as he has been feeling really under the weather lately. Poor guy, he works so hard all week and then I have a huge list of stuff for him to do each weekend. We're really starting to feel the pinch of cooler weather, too - there is so much to get done before cold weather really hits. He got lots of rest today, and it was nice having him home when I got home, even though it meant I didn't get to do my yoga DVD today. Three days 0ff - I miss it. I never thoguht I'd say that, but it's true. After two days I was sore, but it felt good. It is obvious to me that I have not worked my body at all lately. I might end up alternating the two DVDs over the course of the week so that I don't get bored with them, but we'll see.
Tomorrow is another long day, but hopefully also a good one. Think of me while you are out enjoying the summer weather!
~Amalia~

Happy Early Birthday!

Happy early birthday to Bear! His birthday is actually the 29th, but his party is tonight. I baked the cake this morning, and still have to decorate it. It is a Pillsbury Cookies and Cream cake with real Oreos! You didn't think I was making it from scratch, did you? I laugh at you. ;)
I have all of his presensts purchased, all though I may keep one present to give to him on Tuesday. His sister from California is in town, and I know she will want to throw him a party, so maybe I'll keep one gift just as a personal token from me to him. I know which one it's going to be, too.
He is the biggest kid ever. He doesn't want anyone to buy him presents, but once he knows you have, he can't stop asking you to give him hints about what it is or how much money you spent. I'm afraid I spent more money on him that he's going to be happy with, but you know what? He doesn't ever get to be spoiled. Both of his parents are gone, and his sisters were estranged until recently. I strongly believe, no, I KNOW that everyone deserves to be spoiled a little bit.

So I am going to do just that.

Truly, it is better to give than to receive, because seeing him open those gifts - the things he really wanted but wouldn't ask for - is going to be the best part of my day. I can't wait.

~Amalia~

An End to Procrastination

And DAMN, it feels good!

This morning, feeling much recovered from my migraine, I decided to actually do my yoga DVD for the first time. It's actually called "Crunch - Yoga Pilates blend" or something like that. Anyway, I watched it last week, but didn't actually DO any of the moves.
I had no more excuses. I looked at my wedding gown pictures again (see previous post) and got to work. I don't have a mat and the carpet smells a little like dog pee, but it was a very satisfying workout. I feel all stretched out and tight at the same time. I am really going to try to do it again tomorrow. The reviews on Amazon.com said that people saw results after just two weeks - my plan is to see if that's the case. Two weeks from today is September 6. Let's hope I at least can touch my toes again in that time!

I'm off to school to get my classroom in order for next week. Talk soon!

~Amalia~

Ugh

Last night, when Bear came home, I was really hungry. He got in the shower while I made my dinner - the Mondo Sandwich. Here's how you make it:
Toast two pieces of oatmeal bread
Slather both slices with Light Miracle Whip
Place a slice of cheese on top of the miracle whip (two slices)
Lay four pieces of turkey on one side
Place four strips of bacon on the other
Fill the middle with a mountain of shredded lettuce

and voila!

I also added macaroni salad I had left over. As I cooked some leftover curly fries, something strange started happening. I knew I was looking at the fries, but I could only see half of them. Oh no, I thought. That means migraine.
I was right - that was a warning sign of a migraine that was about to strike me down. I put the Mondo Sandwich, macaroni salad and fries on the back of the stove where the dog couldn't get it and laid on the couch. Sure enough, in a few minutes my vision was fuzzy and the pain began. Not hungry any more, I told Bear I had made him dinner (he was fresh out of the shower at this point), and went upstairs in tears.
I hate migraines. They are totally debilitating. I have two prescription meds for them (which I took), but they take forever to work. Add to that the fact that Bear has never seen me have a migraine, and I was very unhappy.
There were, however, two pieces of good news: One, I caught it in time so that I didn't throw up. IF you're a migraine sufferer, you know how much WORSE they are if you throw up the meds. Two (and Im going to Hell for thinking this), I weighed in at 181.2 this morning. That's three pounds! I know that I will gain it back as soon as I eat something, but it cheered me to see that number on the scale. I was almost tempted to see how long I could go w/out eating to maximize the weight loss, but teetered back from that scary cliff edge as fast as I could. I want to lose weight, but I most definitely do NOT want an eating disorder. I'm actually off to find something for breakfast now. I'm thinking juice and toast to start. Maybe I'll try the Mondo Sandwich again tonight for dinner.

~Amalia~

Some Pictures (finally)

http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLandingSignin.jsp?Uc=5c8am8r.6dcskp7v&Uy=-sdxh6k&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0

That website should take you to a slide show of pictures from this weekend. I like to call it, "Adventures in Wedding Dress Shopping!" Let me know which dress you like best. The current favorite right now is the red one.

All the pictures were taken by my friend Terrilyn (there is one pic of her and her mother in the mix) - didn't she do an awesome job?


~Amalia~

Frustrated

I'm thrilled - I have a new job! That's great news, considering that I was about to be officially unemployed. This job will provide me opportunities to collaborate with colleagues, work with students that most need my help, apply skills and strategies from what I've learned in my graduate program - in short, everything I've been looking for.
Unfortunately, it also comes with a $3,000 pay cut (approximately) once you figure in tzxes and health insurance. It's only a half-time teaching position; the other half is Ed Teching. I should be thrilled. I AM thrilled. But it sucks that as soon as the state raises minimum teacher salaries, I take a pay CUT. I was supposed to get a $1,500 raise this year! That was what I was going to use for my wedding. Now I dont' know WHAT I'm going to use. *sigh*

Add that to two other pieces of news I got relating to my degree that make me unhappy: One, my old district is refusing to pay for the class I took this summer because I'm not coming back this fall. This AFTER they approved me to take the class!!! It was a six credit class, too, so now I have to come up with $1,300 to pay for that before I can take any more classes.
Two, I was supposed to present a 90 minute workshop for other teachers this fall at a conferece, but was informed that now all I'm getting is a roundtable - basically a corner of a room with pamphlets that I give to people as they look at my stuff for a GRAND TOTAL of FIFTEEN MINUTES! I'm so PISSED! Now I have to rework the entire workshop into something that it's not - I'm very displeased about this. Can you tell?

The one good thing that happened today was I killed some spiders. It was tough work - those suckers were HUGE! They had a ton of babies, too. I sprayed them all, though, so they should be dead by now. I'm going to take down their webs here in a minute or two.

~Amalia~

One and a half months Gone

And what do I have? A net weight loss of three pounds. And I was doing so well! I was on the cusp of 182, and now I'm back to 186. 186.4, to be exact. I'm frustrated, I'm down, but I'm not giving up. Yesterday was both a success and a failure - I mowed most of our lawn yesterday with a push mower (yeay!) and then pigged out at the Sebec Country Store and Diner (12" ham and bacon hoagie with cheese and mayo, curly fries and macaroni salad. I even had two bites of Bear's Mozzarella sticks!). All told, I probably ate twice as many calories as I burned.
Lucky for me, I did get my new issue of Women's Health yesterday. It motivated me to finally buy the two yoga DVD's I've had my eye on for about a month. I always loved Yoga and it doesn't require any special equipment. I should be getting them just in time to go back to school. When will I have the time to do them, you ask? When I get home from school before Bear gets home. Yoga made a difference in my body when I was going to the Y. I'm hoping it will make a diference again.
I am also going to finish mowing the lawn this afternoon. I have one big section left. If I'm feeling up to it after, I might go for a short walk. Anything to help relieve me of the guilt I'm feeling. I want to be hot again. I want it with a burning intensity. So I have to stop making excuses and DO something!
Right after I bring Bear his lunch at work. ;)

~Amalia~

PS My California pics are too large for blogger. I am working on getting some cut down so I can post them.

Just Kidding

Okay, the pics aren't posting. I'm going to have Bear help me and then maybe it'll work. Stay tuned.

~Amalia~

Didja Miss Me?

We're home! After ten days in Sunny California, Bear and I are back in Maine. I'm not kidding, either - it was sunny every day we were out there. It was hot but not humid, which is the perfect combination if you ask me. I managed to drive all the way to Boston and back without getting lost or causing an accident. That's 525 miles round trip! And I drove in the middle of the night BOTH times. You might not be impressed, but I sure as hell am. We didn't have any mishaps - our luggage was where it was supposed to be, we didn't miss any connections... overall, it was pretty much perfect.

I am going to attach several pictures. We did three major things while in CA: went to Bear's nieces wedding, visited Sea World and wandered the entire San Diego Zoo. Enjoy the pics!

~Amalia~